I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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