How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
