I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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