you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
