I have demons in me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
