Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You're a waste of cheezeits
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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