question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
