i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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