he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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