Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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