i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
