Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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