Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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