I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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