I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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