see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
