you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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