just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
