Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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