Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
