Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
