you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize