OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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