ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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