yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
