Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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