Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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