I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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