took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
