Small penises have feelings too.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
