the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I did not marry a roomba.
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