I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you will always have a special place in my vag
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
