is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
