Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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