There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
