That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
