I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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