I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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