Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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