I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize