check it out our google latitudes are spooning
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
