Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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