Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
