I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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