You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
