her vagine was all disorganized.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
