And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
