Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize