Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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