i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
FUCK WHALES
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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