You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
