So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize