I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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