sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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