we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
